Jack’s Match Report From Brighton

Last weekend a specially selected, highly trained, crack squad of Cowgirls and Boys saddled up and infiltrated the event ‘ The Justin Campaign Football Festival’.

Organised by some of our south coast amigos the Brighton Bandits (played at Collumpton in a fetching pink kit), the campaign/event’s main aim is to raise awareness of homophobia within football and ultimately to ‘…get the football authorities to observe Saturday 2nd May 2009 as Justin Fashanu Day. The long-term aim is to get 2nd May as the annual international day of protest against homophobia in sport’ For more info have look at their website; www.thejustincampaign.com.

So how did we do? We had been training hard for the event, so we decided that we needed to let our hairs down the night …and the morning before kick off. Arriving just in time to register that we were awake, had somehow ended up in the middle of Brighton on a saturday afternoon and we’d missed the 5 a-side tournament. Good job the Cowgirls had flanked us and turned up in time to get a game or two in.

But all was not lost. Bribing the officials with copius amounts of charm and Ben Weaver’s home address we managed to get on the reserve list for the main event. The Table Football Tournament.

After plenty nail-biting, clock watching and, er, some more refreshements we had an entry, albeit under the given moniker of some local undergarment shop (think M & S with optional extras) and some frantic rejigging of letters that Richard Whitley (peace be with him) would be proud of , The Easton Cow Prowlers were in. Our first game was all about focus. We had to get our eyes in. Which is no mean feet when trying to hold two cans of stella at the same time. We had 4 minutes to play and show what we were made of against Kieron Dyers Tumble Dryers. Ha, we showed them 13-2 to the Prowlboys… We had ’em running scared with what proved to be the highest scoring game of the tournament. Get in. We won all of our remaining group games in style and qualified for the knock out phase as group leaders and clear tournament favourites.

So i think it only fair to say at this point that Paul Moylan-Jones’s huge ego and infamous selfishness got in the way of another cup to add to the trophy cabinet. He played up front all tournament and by the quarter final rematch with the Tumble Dryers looked well and truly spent. I did my best, but what can you do when on the field of battle? You certainly don’t leave a brother behind to die on their own. In a pile of their own faeces. So i heroicly mopped up in defence, hoping that Jonesy would rise like a Phoenix from the flames… 6-1 to the Tumble Dryers, eventual tournament champions and nice bunch of lads.

We should of whupped ’em tho.

After the prize giving ceremony there were bands and a bar to keep the spirits high. The whole event was set up in the multi million pound, award winning new library which is pretty special. The organisers hope to continue the event and hopefully at the same venue. I would highly recommend a trip to anyone who’s going to be in the area next year. Please, for your own sanity, just don’t let Moylan play.